The Blog Stands Up with 1hp...

Greetings, fellows!

It has been quite a long while indeed since I last visited this place, but I think the time for my return has come. I have been on a long journey, and I have returned a changed being.

With that in mind, I must express my intention to revive this blog, certainly. But if it is to be returned to the world of the living, then it must proceed along a different path than was previoisly blazed. Times change, and so too have I. No longer will this this blog concern itself primarily with the likes of the Wargaming hobby, as my interests have diversified since this Blog's Inception over 7 years ago.

No longer will I use the moniker of Mr Bad Guy either, because... well... I just don't feel like it fits anymore. With this in mind. I'll now be going as The Sleepless DM, to match up with my Instagram.

Going forward, I think this blog will include articles from a great many schools of nerdly interest, including RPGs, video games, thoughts on new movies, comic book review, and yes... perhaps even a wargaming post here and there.

I will end transmission quickly here, as this post is 95% bluster, and 5% substance. Let it be known that I am officially reigniting the furnace of my blogging interests, and you can expect good things going forward.

-The Sleepless DM-

:::::End Transmission:::::

Tabletop Etiquette: How to Lose Graciously

We've all been there. Your squad of Space Marines (or Boyz... or Necron Warriors... or Gaunts...or Fire Warriors...whatever) have just, against all odds, destroyed a crucial piece of the enemy's army and claimed an objective, whilst taking minimal losses themselves. The situation has repeated itself several other places across the battlefield also. The enemy squads are falling back, their heavy support has been decimated, and that irritating enemy flier was finally shot down by a lucky missile. In a single round of shooting the momentum of the entire battle has swung in your favor and now it's a downhill battle. Time for your command squad to retreat to the back, break out the lawn chairs and kegs, and start planning the after party. But then it happens.

Your opponent turns into a whining little butt hole.



Every crying opponent I've ever had



"That would never happen in the books!" "It's easy when you have loaded dice..." "Figures... my army never wins. I don't even like this game anymore." "Your army is so broken!" "That doesn't even make sense." All are common utterances from any populated gaming establishment. Your opponent's demeanor goes from open and excited to regressed and irritable like the "crybaby" switch has been flipped in their brain. The op ponent will then proceed to suck all manner of fun and excitement out of the remaining turns of the game, crying all the while about how the rules of the game are so unfair and how his army needs an update and blah, blah, blah blah.

This phenomenon is quite common, and can be a real bummer for everyone involved in any given game - ESPECIALLY for those of us who don't have time for more than one or two games of Warhammer 40,000 per week or month. This behavior is childish and unsportsmanlike, but can be mitigated very easily by keeping a few key thoughts in mind.



Certainty of defeat? Awesome!



Firstly, remember that the game you're playing is....a game. It's meant to be enjoyed, not to feel like work. It's totally possible to get completely crushed in any given battle and still have a good time so long as you stay positive. I think that if you agree to play a game with someone else then you have a responsibility to the other player and your community to remain positive and upbeat even in defeat.



Secondly, remember to use your lopsided defeat as a learning experience. Sure, your Necron Immortals may gave just been killed by a mob of Gretchin, but if you pay attention to the exact situation that has befallen your army then you'll be able to learn how to defend against that particular flanking tactic or whatever and you'll end up being stronger for it and may lead to you winning your next game.

Fighting Space Marines. In a swamp. Still not complaining.

Thirdly, and most importantly, sack up. This is a wargame. Emphasis on WAR. In the grim darkness of the far future there is no hope for a crybaby. The game of Warhammer 40,000 IS very much based on skill, tactics, army composition and planning, but it is ALSO a game of chance and happenstance, where a single round of good or poor dice rolling or a single missed step can spell doom for you entire army. The reality of Warhammer 40,000, even in the books and "fluff", is that sometimes the Space Marines get overrun by Tyranids, sometimes the Ork Waaagh! is destroyed by a Necron super weapon, sometimes the Sisters of Battle are outgunned by renegade Imperial Guard, sometimes the Tau are outgunned by Dark Eldar, and sometimes things, plainly and simply do NOT do as planned. The outcome of any given game rests on a knife's edge, any any number of factors can tip the balance. To quote The Big Lebowski, "sometimes you eat the bar, sometimes the bar eats you". 






It's important to make friends in this hobby.



If you can follow these very basic rules and make them a part of your gaming persona, then you will undoubtedly be better for it. Not only will you come to enjoy your games much more than you previously did - even in defeat - , you will also start building a positive reputation for yourself within your hobby community. People will actually ENJOY playing games with you and you'll find that other will always be willing to grab a quick pick-up game with you or invite you to join their tournaments or gaming leagues.



In short, the ability to play and lose graciously and with a bit of class an decorum will undoubtedly increase the quality of your hobby experience. Or you can be that guy that everyone in the hobby centers despises and avoids. The choice is yours.

-Matt-

P.S. - This blog is dedicated to the memory of a guy named Jeff who used to come into my old GW Hobby Center. Jeff, you were the living embodiment of everything that an unpleasant opponent could possibly be. Because of you, I have something to strive to never become. You also provided me with a small light at the end of whatever gaming tunnel I find myself, because no matter how unpleasant an opponent of mine gets I can always tell myself "well... at least he's not as bad as Jeff. Jeff, I hope that all of your armies are brutally sodomized by Slannesh Daemons in the Warp forever. 







Lost and Found: Playing "Fun" Army Lists

Warhammer 40,000 can be a really competitive, dog-eat-dog, cuthroat game to play. Anyone who's been to a major tournament can attest to the fact that competitors will take damn near anything to win. 2 Bloodthirsters and 3 flying Daemon Princes? Sure. 9 Leman Russ Tanks? Absolutely. Logan Grimnar and 30 Wolfguard in Terminator armor? You bet. You get a room full of sweaty, elitist, beardy old hobbyists who all brought their favorite Death Star unit to crush their opponents. These guys deliberate and obsess about their army list for weeks in advance of their next tournament, only to get totally shatterblasted by 17 Dark Lances and end up in 14th place or some crap. It seems more like work than an enjoyable hobby, and it looks exhausting. And if this sounds familiar then this post is for you.

To be free of this, what I consider to be the "dark side" or table top wargaming, I myself almost exclusively play friendly games in a league at my local game store. In our league it's all about having fun and playing an awesome narrative battle. It's more about playing the game and less about winning. To accomplish this, we all build armies using "Fun List" guidelines.

What this means is that our small brotherhood (and 1 sister... so a Brother/Sisterhood...?) of gamers has two simple unspoken rules - play to have fun, and don't be cheap. What this means in practice is that when we all make army lists, we add units that we think are cool rather than thinking of the min/max metagame. Dark Eldar Mandrakes, Space Marine Scouts with shotguns and Space Marine Dreadnoughts with a twin-linked Heavy Bolter are all common sights in our circle. Are these units the best possible expenditure of points available? No, but that's not the point. The points is to have a memorable, fun battle using units that we actually enjoyed building, enjoyed painting, and enjoy seeing on our minature battlefields. It's all about the "WOW, THAT'S AWESOME!" factor, rather than the "I'M INVINCIBLE!"

Now, that's not to say that things like Land Raiders packed with Thunder Hammer/Storm Shield Terminators are never seen - they definitely are. But you'll never see more than one of those, rather than 2 or 3 in a "competitive" list. Our "Fun Armies" try to be as diverse as possible, so as to explore the depth of tactical choices available to our army. In my Blood Angels army, for example, I have no more than 1 squad of anything. 1 Tactical Squad, 1 Scout Squad, 1 Assault Squad, 1 Devastator Squad, a Dreadnought, a Vindicator, and a Captain - because Space Marines are led by Captains, damn it, and not by frikkin Chaplains. (You never see a goddamned Chaplain leading a squad of United States Marines, do you? Hell no. Because they're Chaplains. They belong in the back, with the gear.)

I guess that I'm saying here is that sometimes it's better to have friendly game with a group of pals instead of everyone trying to one-up eachother and constantly comparing their Army Lists' penis size every 40k day. I'd urge everyone to change up your army lists every once in a while. The next time you meet up with the local 40k club, maybe both try playing a fun game. Use units and tactics that you wouldn't usually try. Stop turtling with your Rhino and charge those Space Marines across the battlefield like they've got a pair! Take ridiculous risks! Make an army list that flies in the face of common sense. I bet you'll have a great time. And you know what? You might actually even learn something about the way your army works, and be able to use that knowledge in the next competitive tournament that you play.

-Matt-

Lost and Found: How Hobby Burnout Happens, Part 1

I've been thinking a lot about the Warhammer 40,000 hobby lately, and I think I'd like to share some of those thoughts with whomever is kind enough to have a read here at A Wretched Hive of Scum and Villainy.

Now, I've had something of a love/hate relationship with Warhammer 40,000 for quite a while. I started the hobby nearly 12 years ago, and when I got into the game it was awesome! It was affordable, the local community was huge and full of good people who were excited just to play the game, collect and paint the models! I got into the game with a Space Marine Tactical Squad, a Rhino and a Space Marine Captain with a Power Sword right after my very first demo game at Ga mes Workshop Great Lakes Crossing. From the moment of my first beginner game I knew I was hooked. Every time I got paid from my McJob I'd get a new box of something and after a few months I was swimming in Space Marines.

Life was awesome (hobby life, that is). I collected Space Marines exclusively for longer than I can remember... it must have been at least 5 years. It was the only time in my hobby career that I remember having multiple painted armies (all of them were Ultramarines... but I had 3 or 4 distinct "themed" armies.) It was also the only time I recally being so passionately into the hobby.

But soon it all came crashing down because I started collecting other armies.

A new Tau rulebook came out and I thought they were frakkin' awesome! I bought up a bunch of Tau, painted them, got them on the table and started playing games. And I got totally spanked on the battlefield. Why? Because they didn't play like Space Marines. So I started to add things to my collection to make them MORE like Space Marines. "Fire Warriors are Toughness 3 and 4+ armor? Pfft. I'll take minimum troops and lots of Crisis Suits! Then they'll be the equivalent of Space Marines! Yeah!"

Soon I had about 2,500 points of Tau and I was totally depressed. I had won probably... 3 out of dozens of games. I started to lose faith in my army and my skills as a player. Because I started to lose so often, I started to avoid playing games. Because I didn't play games very often, I found little point in painting my armies. Because I had no interest in painting, I lost the inclination to buy and collect and soon.... my hobby was dead.

And it died for a stupid reason. It died because I had already found my army and my chosen play style, and was trying to force a different army with a different play style to be just like Space Marines... and when I think about how ridiculous it all was I sort of want to kick myself for causing my own hobby burnout.

My point here is that for some people it is sometimes better to focus on a single army and project rather than multiple different armies and multiple different projects. What starts as a simple exlporation into the varied aspects of the Warhammer 40,000 hobby can quickly end in flames and frustration.

Right now I have been super focused on building and painting my Eldar army and I'm making more progress at a greater rate at a higher quality than I ever have before in my hobby. If any of you reading this are experiencing this type of frustration, maybe do yourself a favor and take step back, get back to your original hobby roots and stop yourself from being so busy inside the hobby. Play a few games or, if you're more interested in the hobby side of the hobby, paint or convert something.

Calm down with your hobby. You might be glad that you did.

Still Alive!

Just a quick note to let you all know that I'm still alive and kicking, and that I plan to make a real post soon.

Work, parenting and painting this awesome Avatar of Khaine have been consuming all of my time lately.

Please stand by for my next full, real post!

Here are a few work in progress pics.

Unit a Week - Eldar Guardians

The completed squad! ...I'm sure they won't live long on the battlefield

Welcome to the first of what will become many posts for the Unit a Week! In these posts I will be going over exactly what steps I've taken to paint different models in my collection as they become battle ready! In this way I hope that I can help others in their efforts to paint and collect their own models.

Now, anybody who knows me knows that I like to keep my paint plans simple. I struggled a bit with this, because all Eldar models are so beautifully detailed, but I was able to finally reconcile the detailed models with a simple painting process.

To begin with I primed the models white. A lot of thought was given to this, because I wanted the Guardians to look like they were a bit dirty and battle worn. My first inclination was to prime black, but in the end I went with white because I wanted the models to really pop on the tabletop, and white primer usually means a brighter end result.

My test model, after applying Scorpion Green to the helmet and gun.

For step 2 I waited until the primer was totally dry (about an hour) and washed the entire model with straight Nuln Oil. This was my first go at the Citadel Shades, and I have to say that they do what they're told  way better than the old washes. They ran where they were supposed to, they didn't pool on flat surfaces as badly as the old washes and they seemed to just...flow better I guess.

Onward to step 3 - Dry brushing. I dry brushed the entire model lightly with Skull White, picking out edges where possible. In this stage I allowed myself to be a bit sloppy because I hadn't don't much with the models yet. Had I done this step later I would have had to use a smaller brush and it would have taken forever. But never mind that, just load up your largest dry brush and have at it.
Step 4 was to base coat the helmets, guns and other wraithbone bits. For the helmets I wanted a nice green color, so I immediately went to Gnarlock Green. For the gun and other wraithbone bits I simply went with good ole Chaos Black.

The entire squad, Scorpion Green'd and ready for gems to be painted.

For step 4 I layered Scorpion Green over the Gnarlock Green and it ended up drying really nicely. I also though it would look cool to layer Gnarlock Green and then Scorpion green down the length of the "barrel" of the Guardians' Shuriken catapults.

Step 5 was to Over brush the Shuriken catapults and other wraithbone bits with Shadow Grey.

After some white highlights.

For Step 6 I highlighted all over the armor of the model with Skull White. This was important, because I wanted the model to look bright and white, but also battle worn. I think it went well.


Step 7 was to work on the gems. Nothing too fancy here. Just a simple base coat of Blood Red with a thin swoosh of Mecharius Solar Orange along the bottom of the gems, and a small dot of white at the top of the gem. If I had any, I would have added a dot of gloss varnish to each gem, but a.) I didn't have any and b.) they're Guardians... I'm not that worried about it. Gems: easy.

Gems are really fun to paint, and can add depth and brilliance to your models

And then... the base. I decided to use a Texture Paint on the base, followed by a blue wash. After the wash dried I over brushed the base with Shadow Grey and again lightly with Skull White. Then I painted the rim of the base with Shadow Grey. Finally, I put some blobs of PVA glue on the bases, dipped them in snow flock, blew off the excess and left them to dry.

The whole squad, completed and ready for the photoshop treatment.

Done.

These Guardians really didn't take too long to complete, and I think they look cool. I'm a fan of what I call "cheating at painting", and I try to get the most out of every step I take painting a model.
I hope this was helpful to anyone who might be looking for a bit of painting inspiration. With a variation I could see this as a a decent paint plan for White Scars Space Marines or the like.
That's about all for this post. Thanks a bunch for reading!

-Matt-

Guardians play a game. It's called "shoot you from a distance, and run if you get too close".
Thanks to the Fleet of Foot rule they're really good at it.

Guardian Squad - Ready!

So, I just finished these little bastards tonight, neatly one week after stripping the old, caked on paint job that was on them before this. This is officially my first Unit-a-Week that I've completed...! Hooray! I'll post a tutorial of the exact steps I took from beginning to end tomorrow, and THAT will be the "real" post for these guys... But I wanted to share them before I pass out.

Catch ya tomorrow!

-Matt-

My Triumphant Return!

So... I've returned to the Warhammer 40,000 hobby after an extended hiatus.

Oh, and I've started blogging again. But more on that later. Or maybe not. We'll see.

Anyway, earlier this year I decided that I was going to put together a small Blood Angels army. Nothing huge, just 750 points of red death. I completed a 10-man Assault Squad as well as a totally awesome Land Speeder. Everything was going well and then... I got burned out.

....just like my hobby. *sniffle*

And I'm not talking your average garden variety hobby burnout. I'm talking a Games Workshop hobby burnout so deep and severe that I began cleaning out my subterranean hobby lair, putting all of my models on Ebay and the like to sell, and started to consider myself a guy who didn't participate in that hobby anymore.

Where hobbies go to die.

It was bad. I even started collecting and playing Warmachine/Hordes to fill the void. It's actually a pretty damned fun game system. I'm going to keep up with that, and it will be represented here in the blog. I sold nearly all of my Warhammer 40,000 models and accessories. Space Marines, Tau, Orks, Chaos Marines, Daemons and Necrons were all sold. I even sold my tape measure, carry cases, dice, templates and my 6th edition rule book. I was out. Done. Finished. Kaput. Also, I was several other phrases for the word done that I don't even know.

...and also nerdy. Very nerdy. And depressed, angry, tired and done. ...so really, just regularly nerdy...?

But then something happened - Games Workshop went ahead and updated the Tau Empire with new models, new rules and created a new release buzz that was so huge and far reaching into the worldwide hobby community that I began to feel the effects. I became curious after seeing a picture of the new Tau Riptide on a Google+ community that I'm a part of. I... had to know what it did in the game. I had to know the effect it was having on 6th edition Warhammer 40,000, and I had to know all of the associated rules for it. I hit the internet and had all of my answers within the hour. Then I had to see it in action for myself, so I took a long lunch break at work and headed up to my local hobby store. And there it was - a Riptide in all it's painted (sloppily) glory, destroying some poor bastard's Orks. It was a thing of beauty. I thought it would be awesome to start a new Tau army.

...if they could do this, I might actually start the army. 

But then I remembered that I hate the Tau. They have a lame back story, and they have vertical slits in their faces that closely resemble female genitalia. ....and no amount of badassery is going to win out over "I have a vagina for a nose" with me.

Seriously! Slaanesh daemons would literally fuck their faces! How can you not see it!?

I was discouraged again. Then I heard rumors that the Eldar are being released soon... and I thought to myself... "I've been trying like hell to sell some Eldar that are in my basement... maybe I should just keep them!" And keep them I did. I took those Guardians and a War Walkers that have been lurking in my basement forever and assembled them. I even traded some old Warmachine 'jacks for even more Eldar. And in recent days, to solidify the fact that I really am well and truly devoted to collecting and finishing a new Eldar army, I purchased the Avatar of Khaine model from Forge World - the one with the spear. I've always wanted to paint that model since my very first days working for Games Workshop (longer ago that I care to remember) and I really look forward to it.

Stargate: Iyanden

And that whole tirade brings us to now. This past week I've been working on a unit of 10 Eldar Guardians with a Scatter Blaster. I've been experimenting with a highlighting technique that I picked up from one of my fellow painters. It's quick and dirty and effective, and I love the way it looks so far. I'm going to keep doing it for the whole rest of the army.

They're a work in progress. Shut up.

I also just celebrated my birthday, so I've got a bit of extra $$$ in my pocket. Add to that the fact that I've been trying like hell to sell off the last vestiges of my Chaos Space Marines army and I'd have to say that I'm ready to make some damned purchases.

This perfectly conveys my hobby spending habits.

I wonder what I should buy first? I'd be open to any suggestions for a starting Eldar army.

Also, taking a cue from my friend Jay over at Jay's Workshop, I think that I'm going to start posting a Unit-Per-Week, along with some of my thoughts about Wargaming, Warhammer 40,000, painting, modelling, thoughts about the 40k universe and background, rules concerns, and even some stuff about my Warmachine/Hordes experiences because to date I've had nothing but positive things to say about WarmaHordes.

Anyhow, I'll be sure to post here again soon.

~Matt~

The Red Thirst

I've been painting for a few days now, and rather than get sick of it - like what has happened with every other project I've started since taking off the Power Armor - I'm hungry for it. I'm very motivated to paint now, and I'm moving forward quickly with my Blood Angels project. I think, perhaps, it's because I find it challenging to paint white and red. Or perhaps it's the rich background found in the Blood Angels codex, but I'm totally hooked by these new Space Marines. I officially have the Red Thirst, and I don't forsee it going away any time soon.

Hobby, My Old Nemesis. We Meet Again.

I'm back into the wargaming and painting hobby. For exactly how long that will be is a matter of conjecture, but so far I'm feeling pretty positive about it so far. I've recently started three awesome wargaming projects, all of which promise to be pretty awesome.

The first is an Ork army for Warhammer 40,000. The whole thing clocks in at exactly 1,500 points right now, and is going to be as much fun to paint as it is to play. The two games I've played with the army so far, against Tau and against Space Wolves (both losses...oh well), have been some of the most enjoyable games I've ever played during my 40k career. Getting into the mindset of an Ork is so fun to me. No matter that the enemy is fortified, in an elevated position and possessed of heavy firepower! We're going to run over there - sometimes across open ground - and we WILL be stompin' you! I have a great paint plan all set for the Orks, which will yield quick results, while still maintaining a fairly high level of quality. They'll look great on the table, and I'll be including a step-by-step painting guide for those who would care to check it out.

The second project is a small Legion of Everblight force for Hordes. I have already painted Lylyth, Herald of Everblight, and I think she turned out very well so I'm going to run with it. The whole army only comes to about 15 points, but I think I'm going to really enjoy that. Like everything else, I'll be including step-by-step painting guides for those guys too.

The third project was kind of an after thought. I was casually milling about my bitz box the other night, and I uncovered a LOT of Space Marines - a lot of which are already fully assembled, and some of them in sealed boxes. I have all the makings of a respectable Blood Angels army, including several named characters that I forgot about purchasing long ago. This will be a project that I'm putting significant time and effort into. I'm going to be converting some awesome Sternguard and Vanguard Veterans, and I'm doing a lot of kit bashing. It should be a lot of fun.

I'm feeling pretty movitated as I type this. I look forward to going home tonight, and working on my first Blood Angels test model. White Primer, Mechrite Red, Red Ink, here I come.

Stay tuned, and I may actually have some content in the future.

Blindsided by Awesomeness

Alrighty then. I'm now pretty committed to painting and completing this Imperial Fists army. And I'm not sure it will just be Ebay fodder anymore. I think I'll actually keep it for my own personal army and do the Imperial Guard after I do this one. I WILL still do the Imperial Guard Cadian army... just not right now. I've been sucked into Space Marines again.... because they're too awesome for me to ignore. Damn it.

So I've got this army list that I think is pretty awesome. Its kind of themed around minimal squads in transports with a bit of character backup. One thing about armies that I design - I don't like to paint or collect a large number of models. I've always been a fan of low model count, high points cost armies and this one is no different. I find working on more than a few of any certain type of model tedious and I get bored. When I get bored, I'm way less likely to finish a project. With that in mind, I've decided to create an army that's constitutent units are as diverse as possible, while still being effective.

Here's the list. What do you think?

HQ
Space Marine Captain - Power Sword, Storm Shield - 130pts
Librarian - Epistolary with Avenger and Vortex of Doom, Terminator Armor with Storm Shield - 190pts

These guys are in the army partially for the cool factor, and partially to take advantage of their wargear to help their squadmates. The Captain will be very resilient with his storm shield, and will ignore armor saves with his power sword, so I'm thinking he'll act as a little bit of backup to the Tactical Squad and ride with them in the Razorback in case they get stuck in against some close combat foes. The Librarian will ride shotgun in the Land Raider Crusader with the Terminators. Not only will his Storm Shield allow him to take any plasma or lascannon shots than may injure the squad (a 5+ save just doesn't cut it when you only have 5 terminators), but his psychic powers, Avenger and Vortex of Doom, make him a character that nobody in their right mind will want to be even remotely near (for the most part).

Troops
Tactical Squad - Sergeant with Combi-Plasma, Razorback with T.L. Assault Cannon and Storm Bolter - 185pts
Scout Squad - Sergeant Draggo (counts as Telion), 4 sniper rifles - 125pts
Scout Squad - Sergeant with Power Fist, 3 Shotguns, Heavy Bolter - 110pts

The Tactical Squad's job is to rush toward any objective being held by enemy troops, gun them down with the Razorback, then get out and gun them down more with their Boltguns! I think people really under estimate how effective 5 Boltguns can be inside 12 inches on just about any unit that's not in power armor... but I digress. The first Scout Squad will be there to simply camp on a home objective and shoot at infantry that looks important. Telion gives the whole squad Stealth, which is awesome, and his ability to choose which model in an enemy squad is hit by his ranged attacks is very useful but seldom used. Warlock? Goodnight! Nob? Tough, but killable. I lookforward to using this unit. The second Scout Squad is going to be hanging out inside the Land Speeder Storm! Their job is to outflank! Why, you might ask? Well, wouldn't it be REALLY annoying if you were an Imperial Guard or Tau player and an outflanking Land Speeder suddenly showed up, deployed Scouts with a *power fist!* that go about destroying your artillery, whilst the Land Speeder shoots up an Infantry or Fire Warriors Squad. The Power Fist is something I've never seen anyone else take in a Scout Squad, but I'm interested in how it will work out at surprising vehicles that are sitting on the outskirts of a battle. They'll also be useful in zooming over to an objective to claim in quickly in the end game!

Elites
Terminator Squad - Heavy Flamer, Land Raider Crusader with Multi-Melta - 465pts

These guys are pretty badass. Their job will be to lay waste to enemy heavy infantry or vehicles, plain and simple. The Land Raider will get them there whilst dealing out its own punishment, and the Termies will get out of their ride, shooting and burning even MORE, and then they'll assault, doing even more damage! Not a lot of foes can stand against a charge of Terminators. Especially when the Librarian will be hanging with them too!

Fast Attack
Land Speeder Storm - 50pts
Scout Biker Squad - Sergeant with Astartes Grenade Launcher, Cluster Mines

One of the must under utilized units in the entire Space Marine army. Its job will be to zip the Scouts around the table so they don't get overwhelmed by enemies! It can be used as a mobile firebase for the scouts inside as well. They'll be safe and secure inside, firing heavy bolter rounds at Tyranid Warriors, while eating tea and crumpets, secure in the knowledge that the enemy has to destroy the Land Speeder first before thinking about damaging they themselves. The Scout Bikers are just pretty funny to use because of their Cluster Mines. They pretty much allow you to booby trap a piece of terrain on the battlefield so that when the enemy moves into the area they get themselves exploded. The Astartes Grenade Launcher is also pretty decent at threatening light vehicles, as well as shreddifying weak infantry like Kroot or Guardsmen.

Heavy Support
Devastator Squad - Sergeant with Combi-Melta, Lascannon, Missile Launcher - 150pts

Now, a lot of you just looked at that Dev squad and said "hmm... why take a basic 5-man squad? Why not a 10-man squad? And why not give them the maximum 4 heavy weapons to the squad? Ablative wounds, that's why. Since I really want to use minimal squads, it doesn't make sense to me to take 4 heavy weapons, because if the squad takes hits on the first turn, I end up losing something important before I can even fire a shot. This way the squad can absorb a couple of wounds without the loss of any of those important big guns! It's the same reasoning that people use when they max out the heavy weapons and then max out the number of marines in the squad to protect those big guns.... just on a smaller scale. Also, obviously, this squad is here to hunt vehicles of all kinds. The options for the Missile Launcher to fire Frag Missiles also makes them somewhat effective against infantry is they end up killing all the tanks they see! :)

And that's the list. All told, it rings in at exactly 1,500 points, which happens to be my personal favorite points level to play. I can do 2,000 once in a while, but I rarely have the patience to play more than one. Maybe I'm getting old or something.

Anyway, let me know what you think of the list.

~Mr. Bad Guy~

Random Acts of Painting

Alrighty then, we're back! Thanks for tuning in! In our last episode we saw our hero vowing to start an awesome Imperial Guard project... and I'm still going to do that... I just got side tracked by something shiney! I had a conversation with an old friend of mine about the hobby, and it convinced me to start a pretty cool Space Marines army!

Space Marines always have this weird magnetic pull with me. I go through episodes where I'm fed up with the hobby, take a break (usually only like a week or so. That seems to be the maximum amount of time I can stay away.), and then I'll read a cool bit of fluff or see an interesting conversion or army list that piques my interest, and I jump back in with both feet. The army that almost always pulls me back in is Space Marines. They're genetically engineered Human war machines with the most powerful armor and weapons that Humanity can produce. What's not to like!?

I've been waking up super early to hit the gym lately, and with that comes a whole BUNCH of free time in the AM hours. I was sitting there, bored, looking at some models I had originally assembled for a commission job that fell through on me, when I though "hmm... I should paint those..." After a conversation with my old buddy Jay over at Jay's Workshop I realized that painting lighter colors - namely yellow in this case - isn't as difficult as it really seems to be, so I decided to do it up with some Space Marines of the Imperial Fists chapter! I had nothing but time, so I got right to work the following morning after gym time.

I had only five Space Marines assembled, which is only 50% of a full squad, but I had no inclination for build more... call it hobby laziness, but simply didn't want to spend any more time building models. I still wanted the squad to have a lot of firepower behind it, even though I didn't want to build more models, so I looked through my extensive collection of bits and found some interesting things - a combi-plasma, an entire freakin' Rhino that was already assembled, and a Twin-Linked Assault Cannon from the Land Raider Crusader kit. Perfect! With a little bit of work I was able to swap out the top doors of the Rhino with the Razorback gun cradle, pop in the twin-linked assault cannon, and give the Tactical Squad Sergeant the Combi-Plasma for a little extra punch in case he needs it. I assembled everything, cleaned it clean of mold lines and imperfections, then glued some sand on the bases of the 5 marines. Here's a shot of them post-assembly.

The next step was to prime the model. Now usually I'd simply hit the models with a Citadel Skull White or Chaos Black spray, but I wasn't too keen on the idea of spending so much time building up the yellow color, layer after layer over White - and CERTAINLY not over Black - so I decided to go outside my Games Workshop comfort zone and give The Army Painter's products another try. I'd used their products with mixed results in the past, but I still had a lot of Demonic Yellow primer laying around, unused and unloved in the huge bin o' paint in my workshop area, so I decided to give it another go... and I couldn't be more pleased with how it worked out for me. Not only did the new can of Demonic Yellow cover as adequately as Citadel Primer, it also saved me the step of using my Citadel Spray Gun to hit the models with a yellow base coat. It turned a normally hour-long process (for me - I'm kind of slow) into a 10-minute prime job, thus speeding me on my way to finishing the project. What's better is that there's no reason at all that you can't use the primer as the basecoat for your model. Anyhow, here's a shot of the models after they were primed with Demonic Yellow from The Army Painter.

The next step required a little bit of planning, as I had to figure out a decent paint plan for my marines. The traditional colors of the Imperial Fists are Yellow with Red trim, and I wanted to stick with that general color scheme, but I also wanted the marines to look dirty and battle-worn, like they're been in the thick of battle, not pristine and bright like they're on parade march. I realized that I'd have to improvise a bit because the shades of Yellow that are available straight out of the paint pot didn't really work for what I wanted. So I got to thinking about a suitable shade of yellow for the type of painting I was doing and came up with what I have affectionately dubbed "Imperial Fists Yellow" (original, I know). I made this mix with a 1:3:1 mix of Iyanden Darksun : Golden Yellow : Bad Moon Yellow. Bad Moon Yellow is kind of hard to find anymore though, so if you need to you can just use 4 parts Golden Yellow, as they're just about the same shade. I really just put the bighter Bad Moon Yellow in there to brighten the mix from the darker, more pigmented Iyanden Darksun. Here's my "mixing lab", a.k.a. my kitchen counter. :)

Moving on from there, and after drinking some delicious chocolate milk (drool), I set about putting paint to brush and brush to model. Base Coating these models was pretty simple, really. I painted the sand and the base Chaos Black. I did all the metal in Boltgun Metal, the shoulder pad trim, chest eagles and purity seals with Red Gore, and the parchment with Khemri Brown. Instead of using Imperial Fists Yellow as a basecoat at this point, I decided to go ahead and just use the Demonic Yellow primer as my basecoat, and it turned out pretty well. Traditionally, the Imperial Fists' boltguns have black casings, but I thought they'd look cool with casings the same color as their armor. Its a personal preference, and I went ahead with the choice. In retrospect I think it looks pretty good. I always thought the black looked out of place amidst the yellow and red armor. That's just my personal take. Oh, I also basecoated the sergeant's exposed skin with Tallarn Flesh. That's my absolute favorite color for painting skin. It's excellent! While I did the Razorback a day after I did the squad, here's pictures of both of them at this stage. I need to point out that this is also the stage in painting where your model will look like poo. I've seen MANY hobbyists lose their patience at this stage and just stop painting because they think they're not doing a good job. What many don't understand is that at this point EVERYONE'S models look their worst. It's the stages of painting that come afterward in which your models really start to look awesome! Anyhow, here's those pictures I was talking about...

The next step in my usual painting process is rather nebulous. Sometimes I'll layer a slightly brighter color on top of my base coats and then go about highlighting with an even lighter color to make a perfect looking finish on the models. I also went that way at this stage, but then I remembered that I wanted them to look battle-worn and dirty, not perfect! So I simply hit all the models with a thin wash of Devlan mud! It sounds simple, but it worked out really well! The thin wash did exactly what I thought it would do and separated after it was on the model, thereby leaving some of the base color showing itermitently over the models. This gives the effect of dirty armor, but you're still able to see the parts of the model that have yet to get dirty. It looks ugly at this stage, but the end result looks cool in my opinion.


A side note on Citadel Washes - THEY'RE AWESOME! They shade those hard to paint areas well, and they add a great layer of color to anything they cover. They're like cheating at painting! Also, painting a wash on a tank with a wash brush takes a LONG TIME, but its worth the effort put into it. You could use a large drybrush or a tank brush, but that will leave weird bubbles all over your vehicle that will leave unwashed spots after they dry. Save yourself the hastle and just grin and bare it with the Wash Brush. It will look better. Here's some post-Devlan Mud Wash pictures of the squad and the transport.

Alrighty then... the wash takes a long time to dry completely, and you do NOT want to start painting around "mostly dry" wash, so I took a break at this point... which turned into lunch...which turned into a nap... but when I woke up, I started painting again!

At this stage of painting it's time to put that Imperial Fists Yellow to work. I took a drybrush, loaded it will my mixed color, and went about painting all the broad areas of the models. After using washes on a model you will usually have areas where the model has pooled, and a slightly wetter than normal drybrush is perfect for "buffing out" those areas that are too dark. This was pretty time consuming on the Razorback, but it ended up being worth it. The red on the shoulder pads, chest eagles and purity seals was highlighted slightly with Blood Red along the edges, and I think it turned out well. I drybrushed the metal areas lightly with Chainmail on the marines and the vehicle. I also went about doing a bit of weathering on the Razorback around the exhaust vents by stipling on Scortched Brown, followed by Chaos Black to give the effect that soot and dirt has built up. I also did a tad of weathering on the underside of the vehicle to simulate road dirt by stipling on Adeptus Battlegrey, followed by Astronomicon Grey. I forgot that I hit the lenses with Blood Red, and the Sergeant's skin with Rotting Flesh... I figure a 300 year old Space Marine won't have the healthy complexion of youth. Painting his eyes was kind of a pain in the ass, but I got it done and I'm satisfied with it.

Oh, and I also forgot about the bases! I drybrushed them all with Calthan Brown, followed by Kommando Khaki, followed by Bleached Bone, followed by Skull White! Then I mixed up a little bit of PVA glue with a tad of Snow Flock and put the resulting paste in patches on the model's base. Afterward, I sprinkled on a bit of the Snow Flock to the base, blew off the excess, and painted the rim of the base with simple Calthan Brown. Voila! Snow bases!!! Here's pictures of the models at this stage.

Now, I was thinking about doing without the chapter badge decals for the Imperial Fists, because I HATE putting goddamn transfers on my models. It's a pain in the ass, and I end up breaking them. But as The Dude abides, so shall I! After consulting some of the folks in my local hobby communities I was convinced to go through and add the decals, and they look pretty sweet in retrospect. I think I'm going to start adding them to all marines I paint, or simply buying the scuplted shoulder pads. They really add a certain "pop" to the models. Here's some pics of this stage.

After this, I did a couple of things to the models that I don't really remember on account of sleep poisoning. I forgot to take pictures and close-ups of what I did next, but they were all very minor, like highlighting the targeting and navigation lenses on the Razorback. Here's a picture of the finished squad! What do you think?

Well... that's all for now. I'll go about writing another blog whenever I get around to it. I've been meaning to do this more frequently, and I think I'll try to make at least one post every other day. I'm thinking of doing a unit a week... I think that would be pretty sweet.

Anyhow, I'm out of here. Stay tuned!

~Mr Bad Guy~

The Philosophy of Being a Guardsman

Imperial Guard are awesome.

Don't agree with me? I can certainly see why. When you have elite, genetically engineered killing machines, hordes of savage green monsters, soulless robots and technologically advanced aliens flying around the galaxy destroying everything, it can be easy to ignore or pass over simple Human soldiers with lasguns and flak armor. Why would anyone want to collect an army composed of warriors that are so... normal? I personally think that it is specifically because Humans are so normal that they are the most interesting army in Warhammer 40,000.

For me, the background, story and character behind an army is just as important as how it performs on the gaming table. Often more so, in fact. Imperial Guard characters and soldiers are simple Humans like you and I who have been thrown into an impossible situation that they ultimately have no hope of emerging from alive. They face the alien hordes and traitor legions with nothing but their courage, and rarely falter from their duty even in the face of imminent destruction. They have no impenetrable adamantium armor to protect them from the threats of the galaxy. They have no high powered, fantastic weapons with which to destroy their enemies quickly. They have only their lasgun (which, to be honest, is just the M-16 of the 41st Millennium), flak armor (which is no different than that worn by modern soldiers in our present day and age), and the Man standing next to them to rely on in battle. They undergo training that is rudimentary at best and are then sent into the fray, totally unprepared for the horrors they will face on some Emperor-forsaken alien world. The average Guardsman was conscripted against his will, along with hundreds of thousands of others from his planet,  as a tithe to the Imperium's war efforts, and wants nothing more than to return back to the home that he knows he will never see again. His friends, family and loved ones, all the places he frequented as a child and youth, they are all dead and gone to him. All he has are his brothers in arms.

I think the character and story of Imperial Guardsmen is definitely what piques my interest in them, because they're just like me. I can relate to them. They're not superhuman. They're not corrupted by the Warp (though that happens sometimes). They're not genetically engineered, nor have they undergone any form of psycho-indoctrination to remove all traces of fear from their minds. They're just normal guys - farmers, factory workers, merchants - who were given a lasgun, pointed up a hill and told "Go kill Orks!"

Imagine you're an Imperial Guardsman now. You're stationed in a rocky outcropping on a rolling hill, overlooking a shallow valley near a dense tree line. You've been stationed here for DAYS with the other nine members of your squad, your mission simply to shoot any Greenskins you see, and ask questions later. Oh, and if you let ANY of them past your position and you happen to survive then you'll be executed for dereliction of duty. The hillside is strewn with the decaying bodies of slain aliens, the rotting, fungal stench almost overpowering. Thinking about it for too long will cause you to wretch, so you pass the time by scanning the tree line for enemies and listening to tactical chatter over your squad's Vox-caster. Every hour or so someone will ask if new orders have come through, but you know they haven't. Every hour or so, the heavy weapons team assigned to your squad will remind your Sergeant that they only have one crate of ammo left for their heavy bolter. Every hour, the same damned thing, broken ever so often by a sudden emergence of Greenskins from the forest. You and your squad mates unleash hell on them, they all die, everyone checks their ammo, and wait for the next wave. Repeat process. The thing is, every time the Orks come back, they do so in greater numbers and get a littler farther up the hill towards your position before perishing. At this rate they'll be on top of you by sundown. And yet your Sergeant refuses to budge. Orders are orders, he says, so you sit tight and wait for the inevitable final push from the Greenskins that will likely result in the slaughter of you and your entire squad.

What balls those guys have! They know that sooner or later they'll be overrun, but they don't budge. Why? Because its their sworn duty to the Emperor and Imperium to hold that hill and not let a single Ork past them. Why are they there? Only the Sergeant knows, if even he does, but its ultimately irrelevant. Not for the Guardsman is a glorious last stand or lone charge into the breech. Their job is to do the dirty jobs, the fighting and the dying, so that the overall strategy for victory will succeed. Who knows why they're on that hill. Perhaps they're simply sentries, there to report the position of any substantial Ork force. But maybe they're the only unit left to protect something of vital strategic importance. They'll never know. They just have to have faith that their Commanders will not callously throw their lives away or forget about them.

They're not larger-than-life warriors, they're not overly heroic, they're not monsters, they're not high-tech, and they're not altogether very powerful individually. What makes Guardsmen awesome is that they're each one of a million rather than one in a million, and they will use their 999,999 friends to make damn sure that your "elite" army of a hundred or so super soldiers is ground into a fine red paste.

Imperial Guard are awesome because, simply put, they're the most Human army in the game.

Nuff said.

~Mr Bad Guy~

Zen and the Art of Painting Models

I've been sitting here at work while the store is dead, considering starting a new Warhammer 40,000 project. I've been cruising internet sites about painting, how to speed paint, how to take your time, how to properly base a model, scenic basing, drybrushing, washes, glazes, highlighting, paint plans, just about damn near everything... but there's a key component to this great hobby of ours that seems to be lacking in me presently - Focus. I can read all want about how to paint Tau, or how to base Imperial Guard models, but the How isn't as important sometimes as the Why, and that's that I'm missing right now. The Why. Why should I start and stick to a new 40k project? Without a Why to focus on, I'm not going to accomplish anything other than trying in vain to break my hobby funk, and the cycle of irritation will continue to spiral down into oblivion. So now I'm thinking... WHY do I want to start a new project?

In the past, I used to try to finish armies as soon as possible, so that I could game with them as soon as I possibly could. I'd basecoat the models, drybrush them, and move straight to the game table because I was all about refining my skills and expanding my experience as a gamer. But I've grown since then. I am quite knowledgeable about the rules, I've played and defeated, or been crushed by, just about every type of Warhammer 40,000 army out there. My motivation for maintaining my hobby no longer revolves around gaming and smashing my enemies, or having an army with a cool gimmick that I can take advantage of to surprise my oppenents, but rather from creating a finished product that will make my opponents and peers in the hobby community say "Holy crap, that's an awesome model! How did you do that!?", and producing something that I can personally be proud of.

With this in mind, I think its about time for a TOTALLY NEW project, and that means starting everything from scratch. New paints. New brushes. New models out of the box (not the half-assembled ones i have in storage), and a set, step-by-step paint plan that isn't "quick and easy" but rather long and complicated. Why complicated? Because its the only way I'll grow as a hobbyist.

The other "Why Factor" is storyline and background. Lately I've been inspired not by what a model does on the tabletop, but by what the models represent in the Warhammer 40,000 universe. Sure, an Imperial Guard Commander isn't nearly as powerful on the table as a Daemon Prince, but in my opinion they are a more personal option for an army, and one with a more diverse background, and that goes a long way in furthering my personal hobby. I feel like Bob Ross sometimes when I'm assembling and painting models. "This guys's gonna have one arm in a sling. Maybe he took a grazing shot from a plasma blast or stood too close to a frag grenade when it went off. He traded in his power sword for a plasma pistol because he obviously can't use a power sword with a ruined arm, and he still wants to be useful in a fight. He's a happy little Imperial Guardsman!"

So I think what I'm going to do later is go to Gamers Sanctuary and buy a brand spaking new Imperial Guard Command Squad. I'm going to take my time assembling them, maybe I'll crush up some cork that I have with my supplies to make some rubble and ruins that they're standing in and around to put on their bases. I'm going to write a reliable, awesome paint plan and I'm going to take my time with it. I will make the entire squad something that I'm proud of, that will make people think "wow, that's actually pretty awesome." I think this will serve as a focus for my fractured hobby, and it will probably be a bit of a stress reliever too.

I'm going all Zen with my hobby. To understand the models, you must become one with the models.

~Mr Bad Guy~

Of the Hobby and Monsters

Hello there, and welcome to my first post here at A Wretched Hive of Scum and Villainy.

Alright, celebration over! Now for some news, and some annoying things that have been on my mind.

... there are a couple of things that have been REALLY annoying me lately and, being my blog and all, I'm going to go ahead and use this opportunity to complain about them.

Fistly, concerning my Love/Hate relationship with my Games Workshop wargaming hobby... I need a break from it... but I can't seem to stop picking up my books, making army lists and planning new projects. I really need to get out any actually play some games once in a while, and enjoy my hobby, or just hang it up for a bit, but I haven't been able to do either of those things lately and it sucks! I'm stuck in this crazy hobby limbo into which the light of freedom will never shine! The simple fact of the matter is that if I can play some games, I'll be inspired to finish some of the projects I've been working on, and make a few army or squad sales on Ebay. If I don't get the play games, my hobby will die for a little while like it did when I was working for Games Workshop last year. I'm in dangerous waters. Here there be monsters!

Secondly, speaking of Monsters... Monster energy drink is fantastic. Sure, it's full of artificial crap, and I'm probably losing a day off my life for every can I drink, but damn if it's not great stuff. Today for example, I didn't sleep all that well and would have been dragging through the day. Luckily, however, I had time to stop and get a Monster before work and now I'm upbeat, have a positive attitude, and am full of energy. My question concerning Monster, though, is this; Is this actually the effect that Monster is supposed to have, or is it all a big fat placebo? Hmm... they're really bad for you, but I don't care. They make me feel awesome, and with them I'm able to keep up with my kids and still have energy to enjoy myself after they go to sleep for the night, and for that reason I'm going to keep drinking them. Some of you will tell me "they're not good for you, you're poisoning yourself!" That might be true... but at least I'm not becoming an alchoholic.


So um... that's pretty much all for the first entry here. Exciting, wasn't it? You're all inside my mind now, and you're never getting out. It's a vile, twisting maze of anarchy and curses, with crazy mirrors and trap doors leading to alternate dimensions where vicious, rabbid dream-creatures stalk the hallways. Stick with me though! I've got all the weapons and ammunition. But if you think you can go it alone in here, be my guests...

Stay tuned for the next post - same Bat-time, same Bat-channel.

~Mr Bad Guy~